Thursday, February 4, 2010

No Answer

I’ve been thinking a lot about spirituality recently. It seems that everyone has their system of ‘higher’ living whether it is the writings of a great philosopher, religion based around a god or an attitude of a group of people. I sometimes worry that I am one of those people who live so called ‘average’ lives but I also realise that we all have our own way of living. I know there are people in this world who live extraordinary lives (as I see them) and I sometimes wish I was more like those people. Music for a long time has been my ‘means’ of so called ‘higher’ being but now I’m bringing into question just how real this pursuit for ‘enlightenment’ is. I think just enjoying what we have is a big part of enjoying life. As opposed to going after things we don’t have and then gaining happiness by attainting them.

A part of me thinks I should get way into something. Maybe I need to read every single book that Krishnamurti and Gurdjieff ever wrote. Maybe I need to study Kant, Socrates and Hume. Maybe I should believe Christianity, Buddhism and Hinduism. I don’t think it’s that simple. We sometimes need time to question the bigger questions of life. But I also need time to question the concepts of my craft. I also need time to take a shit. These systems and so called ‘answers’ of our existence seem to only spread so far. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t have an answer. Or even any answers - to anything. But I know I’m here to do something and I want to enjoy doing that thing. Even though I’m not sure what that thing is or how I’m going to do it or how significant that thing will be to anyone or anything (or how relevant that so called ‘significance’ is).

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